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On this episode of #FinanciallyFocusedMONEYTALK, we discuss why so many of us keep pushing ahead and never arrive at where we want to be. Host #DenniseWilliams and guests #DuaneLueFung, #ElizabethTerry, #DinoHinds and #DrCarolynHayle share their thoughts on the topic.
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According to Elizabeth Terry, NLP, Time Line Therapy®, Hypnosis Trainer and Master Coach:
I think most of us can relate to having had this experience at some time in our lives! “Striving”, according to the on-line Cambridge English Dictionary means “to try very hard to do something or to make something happen, especially for a long time or against difficulties”. It’s a strategy that most of us have been taught and believe in – ‘if you want good, you nose haffi run’. It’s a very deep-seated belief in the human psyche and is birthed from the idea that one has to literally fight for success, particularly if you are starting from behind the ‘eight ball’ to use a table pool term.
Here’s the thing, if you believe that wealth cannot be created without a LOT of hard effort and ‘striving’ on your part, then your unconscious mind will do its best to ensure that reality will play out in a way to support your beliefs.
Now, this is not to suggest that we simply do nothing and think our way into success. It’s just that the belief piece is the first, and perhaps the most critical step. We must accept the premise that we bring forth the visible from the invisible and that our mind-set is key to bringing our desired reality into manifestation. When we get this right, we then take action which comes from a place of inspiration (a feeling of internal enthusiasm) and not from a feeling of desperation or competition which means that we are literally chasing the funds! And, the more we chase, the faster the money seems to run in the other direction! J
So, our beliefs form one part of our model of the world, or how we think the world operates – in other words the rules of engagement. Another important belief which is often related to our ability to be financially successful concerns our belief in our ‘worthiness’ and ‘deservedness’ – in other words, our Self-Belief and Self-Confidence – the way we feel about our skills, abilities, appearance and behavior.
Another key factor in why we may be ‘striving and not arriving’ may be our Self-Esteem or Self-Worth – how you feel about yourself, regardless of your appearance, achievements and capabilities. It’s about how comfortable you actually feel in your own skin, your intrinsic sense of worthiness! Often it is related to how we rate ourselves in comparison to others. A key point to note is that low self-esteem can also result in someone striving to achieve a very unrealistic goal or even ‘perfection’, which of course means that you will always be in a state of ‘striving and not arriving’, since perfection is never attainable and the goal posts just keep moving!
Low self-esteem can cause a lot of self-sabotaging actions or experiences whereby even when we do manage to achieve a desired financial goal, we inadvertently do something that will result in a loss of the funds – for example, spend the funds inappropriately, take financial risks that are unwise in relation to the result we want, materialize circumstances that demand the immediate use of the funds we have acquired – for example, an accident for which we need to pay for car repairs, medical emergencies, etc.
Lack of Self-Belief, Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem impact how you run your company, communicate with colleagues, staff and clients, how effective you are in accomplishing your tasks and even the enjoyment that you feel in doing your job!
Here are four things you can do immediately to help develop your Self-Confidence and Self-Belief:
- Make an inventory by journaling all of your accomplishments during these main periods of your life: 0-7, 7-14, 14-21, and every decade thereafter. Allow yourself time to acknowledge not only the achievements but the qualities and skills which you possess that allowed you to do so.
- Watch your body language – your body language is largely unconscious, so bring it to your conscious awareness. Realize how you feel when your shoulders droop and you cross your arms, for example, and experience the difference when you hold yourself up straight and open your core. Practice putting your body into positions that make you feel good and begin to make these a habit.
- Stop comparing yourself to others – when we compare ourselves to others, we very rarely measure up. Practice being your own competition and relating your progress to your own personal milestones and not milestones established for or by someone else.
- Improve your skills in an area where you feel a level of discomfort – example, telephone sales or public speaking. Seek coaching from a professional to help you overcome blocks to your Self-Belief, Self-Confidence and to heal you’re your low self-esteem! You will build your self-confidence as you become increasingly more at ease with doing things that previously were difficult or anxiety producing for you.
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